Looks Like SOMEONE Needs to Buy Me a New Camera

Filed under narcissism

Hi. Can anyone tell me what the hell is on my lens? And furthermore, how the hell I get it off? I can’t seem to physically rub it off the outside, which leads me to believe that something has infested the inside of my camera.

Don’t let the look on my cupcake face fool you. I am not a happy lady.


  1. Tina says:

    This EXACT thing happened to my camera. I took a picture (of a lobster) and after it previewed the picture and went back to take-a-photo mode there was a big black splotch on the lens. It has to be on the inside because I vigorously cleaned it. I ended up scamming Target because my receipt was out of date and bought a very similar camera and then did the old bait and switch… returning the old one in the new camera box.

    • I only hate you because I’m jealous of how diabolical you can be when all I can work up the courage to do is whine.

      To be fair, I’ve had this camera for, like, four years and have dropped it so many times that the press-down-the-button-halfway-to-focus feature no longer works. So maybe its time has come.

      • Tina says:

        Diabolical… nice.

        Let’s just hope that when I eventually run for office it doesn’t come out that I scammed a giant retailer… but since your blog will likely be world famous by then this could be an issue.

        • I will simply come back to this entry and edit your comment appropriately to make you seem like a true humanitarian.

          Actually, it’s a real shame that I’m not already using my “Edit This” feature, right? I could make you all my puppets.

  2. beth says:

    It’s probably a spot of dust on the inside of the lens or, more likely, on the sensor. A camera store should be able to clean it. Or, new camera time! No better excuse than a dusty sensor.

    • Oh, maybe I should’ve mentioned that this entry was entirely a ploy to get someone to buy me a new camera and that helpful suggestions were an absolute no-no. THANKS A LOT.

      Maybe I’ll pop into a camera store next time I’m in Ohio. ‘Cause you know the ones here in NYC are going to charge me $800 to clean it, and I only paid $179 for it four years ago.

  3. spaghedeity says:

    Oh, please. You totally just photoshopped that smudge as an excuse to show off how gorgeous you are.

    Or maybe this is some crazy witchcraft shit. Like on The Ring or something. Ghostly things just start appearing in your photos, then bam, your head is gone.

    • Yes, and I also Photoshopped smudges into ALL OF TRACEY’S WEDDING PHOTOS to detract from how gorgeous she is. Brilliant!

      I have never seen The Ring and never will, all because someone told me about the dead horses. Have you seen The Strangers yet?

  4. natalie says:

    i don’t even see a smudge. i see an arrow…and a pretty sweater/jacket hybrid that i would stain in 1/16th of a nanosecond. am i blind? (casting about like milton…)

    • One of my co-workers didn’t see the smudge in that photo, either, but when I handed him my camera, he could see it through the viewfinder. So yes, you are blind, but so is he, which makes it okay.

      I plan to ruin the sweater entirely after approximately three wears. But I paid $9.99 for it, and $3.33 per wear is totally worth it for neck warmth.

  5. caropal says:

    That photo really makes me want to pinch your cheeks.

    It must be the smudge.