Eating Crumbs Cupcakes Helped Me Fit Into This Dress, and They Can Help YOU, Too!

Filed under it's fun to be fat, living in new york is neat

This past weekend, I brought home treats from the co-best cupcake shop in the world, Crumbs Bake Shop. (I say co-best, because while Magnolia cupcakes are widely regarded as the most intensely wonderful foodstuff to ever be whipped up in a bowl, Crumbs’ certainly have their own charm.) Kamran and I consumed each of the following by cutting them in half, because there was absolutely no way either of us could go on living without tasting all of them:

Kamran on this animation: “It’s like one good thing after another,
and you don’t know where it’s going or for how long.”

Yet today, two people have told me that I look thinner. Even though it’s obviously a total misperception, it’s excellent to hear, since I now have exactly ten days before I need to have lost all five inches to fit into this dress for my best friend, Tracey’s wedding:

Not this dress exactly, though, you know. Mine is black. And still a larger size, despite the five inches. But don’t you just love to watch her swing* around like that? What a great job, right? Put on a pretty dress, fake a smile, and dance around a little.

Which is exactly what I’ll be doing at Tracey’s wedding next week.


*If she doesn’t swing for you, right-click on her and press Play. You won’t regret it.


  1. Tracey says:

    The dress image didn’t show up at all in my reader, and for a while there, I was SO confused.

    • Dammit! You don’t know how much trouble I went to to embed that thing so people wouldn’t have to go to the David’ Bridal website to see it.

      • Tracey says:

        Oh, I saw it just fine once I clicked over to here, which is probably where I should be reading your posts, anyway.

        And boy, is she creepy. I still sorta wish I had just gotten that dress as my wedding dress.

  2. welfy says:

    HOLY CRAP those cupcakes look awesome. It hurts my teeth just looking at them.

    I wish I could have a career of modeling dresses and twirling in them.

    • They’re filled with icing and whatnot, too! It’s a bad, bad thing to have that bakery just down the street from my work, especially since eight hours of sitting in an office really makes me feel like I DESERVE cupcakes.

      Honestly, aside from the constant state of dizziness, that has to be the best job ever. And you’re the right size, too!

  3. natalie says:

    ohh…they just opened a crumbs here in jersey…they look like trouble.

    the dress is cute…but sleeveless apparel puts the fear of god into me…and i’m agnostic.

    • I hope for your sake that the Crumbs is a 15-minute drive down a dark, scary road away from you so it won’t tempt you like it does me.

      I spent 20-some years of my life making fun of fat-armed people in sleeveless shirts, but it’s just too hot here for me to avoid it. However, it’s really going to piss me off when Tracey’s two super-thin bridesmaids look just like that model in their dresses.