One of These Things is Not Like the Other

Filed under no i really do love ohio

Of my two backyards–the one at my apartment in Brooklyn and the one at my family’s farm in Ohio–guess which has this view.


  1. spaghedeity says:

    The “view” from your apartment—the only view, mind you. From your bathroom window, that is—consists entirely of some dark, mangy old house with an old, vine-covered shed in the backyard. I would know, because that’s the window I opened each morning to let the steam out after my shower. I would stand there in the nude, wishing your neighbours would report my exhibitionism to the police, just so I could watch you deal with the drama. Mostly for the LJ gold that would be, but also because I just like to show my broccoli to the world.

    • Damn, I think I would throw myself down a flight of stairs if I was working with brocolli.

      I gotta Thank God, then send an email to Jesus and tell him forward to Moses and CC Allah because I’m working with Butternut Squash

      • I wasn’t trying to play with his broccoli I swear.

        I misspelled broccoli, my bad.
        I was busy trying to get my html tag correct & had a Dan Quayle moment. ;-)

      • spaghedeity says:

        I think you should send those emails to the trash asap, because that butternut squash is skinny at the base and fat at the top.

        Basically, you’ll be getting down and dirty, and everything will be feeling awesome until the fat part goes right in, leaving the skinny part to do all the work, and the doughnut of your sexual partner will just be all, “Oh. Is that it?”

        Just giving you the heads up.

    • Hey, I know you’re a little sore about me not asking you to sleep with me, but I want to make it clear to my readers that my apartment also has a front view from the two bedrooms, where we see things like our neighbors performing the Rhymenoceros v. Hiphopopotamus bit from “Flight of the Conchords”.

      And that backyard is LOVELY in the summer when the vines grow up enough that you can’t see the shed. So SHUT IT.

      You know, we’ve lived in that apartment for more than two years now, and we’ve never actually made sure that the big window is opaque. The whole neighborhood has probably been seeing my radishes all along.