Aaron Spits in the Face of His Fellow Man

Filed under all of my friends are prettier than i am, living in new york is neat

As you may recall, Aaron the Australian is visiting me for the weekend. Not because New York City is a must-see-before-you-die tourist destination but because Katie Ett is one. And while there have been many history-making moments thus far, this has to be my favourite:

So we’re on the Staten Island Ferry, and Aaron decides to spit in the water while I’m preoccupied with picking my nose or something, thinking that spittle will fly straight down despite the fact that we’re in a boat that’s rushing from one island to another. But no! Instead, it of course flew right back toward the man standing two feet behind him. Aaron buried his head in the railing, so I leaned over his shoulder and said, “Sorry! He didn’t know that would happen!” The guy said something back to me that I thought sounded like “that was close” and Aaron thought sounded like “that was gross”. He said it with a smile on his face, though, and didn’t pummel Aaron directly afterward, so I think I’m right.

Although he was probably a tourist from Ohio, and you know that kind just loves to get spit on.


  1. caropal says:

    I require a bad camera-photo of the two of you sent to my phone. It’s only fair.

  2. Tracey says:

    Now you have to take him on the ferry about 40 more times while he’s there so that his experience of the ferry isn’t associated with that incident!

    • Adam says:

      I agree, he needs more rides on the ferry because it would be a shame for him to forever associate it with accidentally spitting on a stranger.

      The association should be that the Staten Island Ferry is the place where he purposefully projected bodily fluids onto strangers. Anything less would be an insult to the ferry’s namesake, which, after all, is home to one of the largest garbage dumps in the world.

      40 trips might be a problem, though. I can only think of 6 more – 8 if you want to include the humours, and 9 if he can accept a specimen from a woman.

      But maybe I’m missing the point. Rather than being about bodily fluids, maybe it’s about projecting onto a stranger something vile and only allowed to be carried onto airlines in quantities not exceeding 3 ounces. In that case, you can keep my 9 bodily fluids (since they are easy to conceal). The remaining items can be easily obtained from any place where stagnant water can be found: pot holes, subway tracks, and the pants of homeless people.

      • Awesome!: “The New York City Medical Examiner in a written affidavit has stated that he is virtually certain the debris contains human remains.”

        I have to know: how far away from the landfill does Jack live?

        Moist homelessperson pants are the reason the term “swamp crotch” was invented.

    • Please see: the episode of “I Love Lucy” where she and Fred ride the Staten Island Ferry to help him overcome his seasickness.

      You know, now that I mention it, I don’t think you have any frame of reference for “I Love Lucy”. I sure didn’t up until about a year ago. I really feel like Kamran is tearing us apart.

  3. Patty says:

    Now I see why all the women in LJ land are in love with this boy. He is pretty adorable in his embarrassment.


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