These Crocs’ll Rip Your Toes Off

Filed under good times at everyone else's expense

Maybe you weren’t affected by this, since you’re obviously not some midwestern fashion victim who’d be caught dead in Crocs, but I’m not embarrassed to say that I bought the Athens last year on a whim at one of the retail kiosks in Grand Central, and it turned out to be the most incredible footwear purchase of my life. Yeah, they’re too clunky to wear with skirts, but they look fine with jeans, and my feet feel like they’re on clouds when I’m in them.

HOWEVER, soon after I fell in love with my Crocs, I heard some talk of people building up static and getting shocked while in them, especially at hospitals. But since I make it a point to avoid the sick and the frail, I went right on wearing mine. Later, I heard about people having problems with them getting stuck in escalators but assumed it was a myth until Dr. Boyfriend and I trudged up a stopped escalator at Port Authority and saw that the reason it had halted was

a stuck croc!

A child’s Croc, no less. But as luck would have it, I’m not a complete retard and will continue to wear my Crocs flip-flops with abandon. ‘Cause if they’re good enough for G.W. Bush and an oddly pigeon-toed Nicholson, they’re good enough for me.


  1. Laura says:

    That kid is going to be afraid of escalators forever. And thanks for reposting George Bush with presidential socks. I love that picture.

  2. kylie says:

    you’re in even cooler company than you think! iggy pop wears crocs too!

  3. megan says:

    just please don’t wear them with socks like gwb. i hate socks with sandals..

    even more than i hate crocs.

  4. Beth says:

    I cannot help but think that Crocs are possibly the ugliest footwear in existence (although those sandals aren’t so bad…). But, like Uggs, I’ve never worn them before, so it’s possible that I could put them on and be brainwashed by their comfort. That might actually be one reason I won’t try them.

    • Knowing how comfortable they’d be was the only thing keeping me from buying them. I can sacrifice a lot for comfort, but clogs are pushing it. But the flip-flops look so normal on your feet!

      You and me, babez. We’re buying Uggs in Ohio when we hang out with the Australians.

  5. Tracey says:

    I love how when you click on the link to your Athens, it shows them in the default color, which is (strangely) GREEN and ORANGE. I like to think that everyone reading this post comes away from it thinking that’s the pair you own instead of solid black.

    I also love how I clicked on the link to look at your Athens, even though I know exactly what they look like.

  6. cinnamic says:

    I thought I would never, ever, ever wear Crocs, and then I saw the Alice Mary Janes. Mary Janes! In blue! But I only wear them around the house (so far), so there’s no chance of death by retardation. Well, little chance.

  7. Andrea says:

    oh man… in the time between reading that you had bought crocs and actually seeing the picture of innocent flip flops… i was more than a little disappointed in you. to me, crocs are always big, clunky, cloggish gardener’s shoes that belong only on the very young and the very old. sadly, the very demographic most likely to be eaten alive by escalator.

  8. Smail says:

    No, no, no! This is not the Katie Ett I know. What have you done with the fashion sensible young woman I once knew?