You Could Ice a Cake with What’s in Our Thighs

Filed under all of my friends are prettier than i am, it's fun to be fat, jobby jobby job job

Our boyfriends are under the impression that my co-worker/super-New-York-BFF Sonya and I are trying to eat right and lose inches off our ever-expanding assets, but the truth is that most of our day is spent at my desk doing this:

And boy, are we pleased with ourselves about it:


  1. Emily says:

    Wow. Not even *I*, fatass that I am, do that. I’m just impressed. That’s all there is to it.

    • There’s a jar of chocolate icing, a jar of Nutella, a jar of chunky peanut butter, and a jar of creamy in my desk as we speak, and whenever Sonya feels like we deserve it, she brings two spoons from the kitchen, and we dig in.

      You can imagine how hard it is having the stuff right beside me, though. There have been times when I’ve been too lazy to walk to the kitchen myself and have eyed that peanut butter and wondered if it’d be worth the embarrassment if someone caught me sticking my finger down into it.

      • Emily says:

        Yeah, no. I can’t do that. It makes me gag just thinking about it. Now, if it were half-gallons of ice cream in your desk? I would be bringing out two LADLES for us from the kitchen when I feel like we deserve it. Which is always.

  2. gregariouspeach says:

    I always find I get along best with my female friends who don’t try and make me feel bad by saying their ‘eating healthy’. Gosh, that the last thing I want to hear as am biting into an entire homemade pizza with extra extra extra toppings.

    p.s I learnt how to RSS feed just for you.

    • Seriously, I think Tracey and I became even BESTER friends when we were both trying to cut sugar out of our diets last year. We spent all day on the phone talking about how no one understood us, and then every time we got together, we pigged out on as much junk food as possible. I’ve definitely noticed that I have a harder time being friends with people who aren’t interested in eating ice cream every moment of every day like I am.

      P.S. You are a champ.

  3. Nicole says:

    You mean I’m not the only one who eats out of the icing container? I love that! There is nothing better after a long day (or week on the road) to come home and eat a spoonful of cream cheese icing.

    I think sugar is my crack.

    • I like that you said “spoonful”, implying that you don’t eat the entire container in one sitting like I would. Cream cheese icing, though, OMG; I remember the first time I saw that ready-made in the store and realized that my health was about to take a turn for the worse.

      I should really stop looking down on crackheads, ’cause yeah, you’re totally right.