Take My Ovaries, Jesus

Filed under too much information

Last night, I cried when my portion of our karaoke bill came to $48.

This morning, I cried while watching an insurance commercial:

I’m about to leave to get my hair trimmed, and I really hope to cry during that, too.

With any luck, I’ll make a sobby scene during dinner tonight and get us kicked out of the restaurant.

Gooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, HORMONES!

Comments Closed

19 Comments

  1. It should probably be noted, though, that all Liberty Mutual commercials make me cry.

    As if anyone could not cry while watching this:

  2. Erin says:

    Oh, man. I’m right there with you, Katie.

    In other news, my blog has returned, as requested. Super-personal!

    • Sooooo EXCITED! And an entry involving Ohio’s greatness right off the bat! I can’t believe you posted three whole entries before releasing it to me.

  3. cow says:

    those commercials make me want to… not cry

  4. caropal says:

    I really hope you mean that you’re on your period and not preggers. I don’t know if I could handle more than one LJ-friend pregnant at once.

    • If I was, I’d ask you to give me the abortion. A girl in one of my writing classes in college wrote a story about giving herself one with an overdose of vitamin C, so we could try that first if the coat hanger route doesn’t appeal to you.

  5. Charles "IT Guy" Robinson says:

    Jesus won’t take them unless they come with 2 strips of bacon, flapjacks & hash browns.

    Hmmmmmm…..Ovaries!

    I can’t start my day unless I’ve had some…It makes me a better IT Mgr!

  6. Emily says:

    Maybe Jesus will take your ovaries, but OB/GYNs won’t. Trust me. I asked. When I found out I have polycystic ovaries, I asked if she couldn’t just take them out, to which she responded, “No! What if you want to have children someday?”
    “Um, didn’t you just say that PCOS is a genetic disease? So I would be passing this on to my children…”
    “Yes, but they can still have a full life like you!”
    “Uh…I wouldn’t put my worst enemy through this, sorry.”
    “Well, and if we remove your ovaries, you’ll have to be on hormone therapy for the rest of your life!”
    “Didn’t you say that the treatment for this is hormone therapy anyway?”
    Regardless how reasonable my arguments were, she still wouldn’t be swayed. So in summary: ask Jesus. He’s more likely to help you than your doctor.

    • Charles "IT Guy" Robinson says:

      But I told you I wanted you to have my baby…WTF?
      Now you tell me this.

      I still think we should have kids despite your PCOS. But since you feel so strongly about this we can always adopt.

      • This comment is especially awesome because the comment you’re replying to is from a very different Emily than you think it is.

      • Emily says:

        Why don’t you just admit the fact that you are secretly relieved that I’m not going to bear your offspring after all? This is the perfect out for you from that foolhardy declaration you regret having given me so long ago. You’re just pretending to be disappointed to make me feel guilty, so that I won’t suspect your true feelings. But I don’t just suspect, Charles “IT Guy” Robinson. I know. I KNOW.

        • Charles "IT Guy" Robinson says:

          I know I’ve been having issues committing to a family with you but what do you expect….Every day when I come home from work you’re either watching Desperate Housewives or the Golden Girls. I think you really do live to confuse!

          • Emily says:

            How dare you concoct such heinous lies about me in front of our friends just to make *me* look like the bad guy here. I would *never* watch Desperate Housewives or the Golden Girls.

            I do live to confuse, though. Yeah, that part’s true.

    • If doctors were handing out ovary removals, I’d take one in a second. I hate that the “what if you want to have babies?” argument gets used so much. Say I do have a momentary lapse in judgement some day and decide I want a kid; I’ll appreciate the ovary-removal all the more once the feeling passes ten seconds later.

      I wonder how a male doctor would’ve handled that situation.

      • Emily says:

        Oddly enough, my sister works at a hospital and told a male doctor my plight, to which he responded, “I’ll take her ovaries out if she’ll pay me to do it.”

        Now if only I could come up with the money…