Comments on: I Became a Homeless-Hatin’ NeoCon, and It’s All Emily’s Birthday’s Fault

By: Tracey

Tracey — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 19:14:08 +0000

At least you don’t present me a gift sometime between Christmas and my birthday and tell me it’s for both (cough KEN cough). That way, I feel like you forgot me at Christmas and skimped on my birthday.

Wow, this thread is making me sound totally superficial, huh?

By: Tracey

Tracey — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 19:11:09 +0000

Now that we’ve had our conversation about the word “lame”, I feel especially insulted by your use of it. It’s as if you’re deliberately making fun of my bum leg.

By: Tracey

Tracey — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 19:06:05 +0000

Should I have been given the option to go back and edit? I looked for a way to do it, but couldn’t find a way.

By: shawn

shawn — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 17:21:28 +0000

Why thank you miss, you made my whole day. Now I am on the look out for rainbow twizzlers!

By: plumpdumpling

plumpdumpling — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 15:53:48 +0000

Lame! Now I’m going to be worrying about my bracelet exploding and losing my hand every time I wear it. THANKS A LOT, TRACEY.

By: plumpdumpling

plumpdumpling — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 15:52:06 +0000

Oh, and yes, I am always withholding half your gift. Mostly because I’m poor, though, and not because I love you any less than people who have non-Christmasy birthdays, though. I just don’t buy gifts for them AT ALL.

By: plumpdumpling

plumpdumpling — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 15:50:35 +0000

Did you edit your comment? ‘Cause baby, I don’t have to imagine.

By: plumpdumpling

plumpdumpling — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 15:50:00 +0000

I’m totally going to name my band Pump Shaft.

By: plumpdumpling

plumpdumpling — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 15:48:49 +0000

You should probably lay off the spiked lemonade, though.

By: plumpdumpling

plumpdumpling — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 11:48:49 +0000

I’m sure Emily wishes I would’ve taken a full-length shot, too, ’cause the girl looked good. I was so unimpressed with all the long dresses everyone was trying to sell me this summer, but hers actually worked.

I was totally excited about the idea of that guy getting a plate of bean salad thrown all over the front of his cargo shorts, but alas, all of my friends are nicer than I am. And it’s absolutely worth getting stabbed over, obviously.

I appreciate the puking pretentious kid. In Ohio cities, the homeless are all unembarrassedly on crack and appear crazy at all times. But there, you can cross the street and avoid the one or two of them; here, they surround and attack you like zombies.

By: plumpdumpling

plumpdumpling — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 11:38:01 +0000

As it turns out, I was a cold-hearted bitch all along, and I just needed a city full of other assholes to bring it out of me.

By: Nicole M

Nicole M — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 03:00:30 +0000

mmmm….rainbow twizzlers are yummy. That was one of our snacks for the Reds game. Collin and I love them. We’ll have to try using them as straws next time he visits.

By: Nicole M

Nicole M — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 02:59:07 +0000

Oh and O-rings are what failed in one of the explosions in the 1980′s … Challenger I think.

And you could make latex o-rings in the space program before last school year.

By: plumpdumpling

plumpdumpling — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 02:20:44 +0000

Woo-hoo Gravatar! Nice one.

Rainbow Twizzlers are THE BEST, because they’re fat and have a huge hole in the middle naturally, practically begging you to make them straws.

By: Tracey

Tracey — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 02:19:25 +0000

Imagine that those other two paragraphs are in italics.

By: Tracey

Tracey — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 02:17:49 +0000

I win!

I am always secretly wondering if people are just giving me half of what they intended to give me for Christmas and witholding the rest for my birthday, though.

And I’ll just let Wikipedia explain what o-rings are:

An o-ring is a loop of elastomer with a round (o-shaped) cross-section used as a mechanical seal or gasket. They are designed to be seated in a groove and compressed during assembly between two or more parts, creating a seal at the interface.

The joint may be static, or (in some designs) have relative motion between the parts and the o-ring; rotating pump shafts and hydraulic cylinders, for example. Joints with motion usually require lubrication of the o-ring to reduce wear. This is typically accomplished with the fluid being sealed.

O-rings are one of the most common seals used in machine design because they are inexpensive and easy to make, reliable, and have simple mounting requirements. They can seal tens of megapascals (thousands of psi) pressure.

Makes total sense, right?

By: plumpdumpling

plumpdumpling — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 02:15:35 +0000

Yes, I could’ve said that, but I both hate homeless people and love my head. I wish you could’ve been there to say it for me, though, ’cause you’re eight times the sweet I am.

By: plumpdumpling

plumpdumpling — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 02:13:47 +0000

Yes, and you should then announce WHAT O-RINGS ARE. ‘Cause I still have no idea.

No, you don’t have a summer birthday, but you DO have a birthday so close to Christmas that people think it’s ridiculous to have to buy you a gift for it. GOOD ON YOU.

By: plumpdumpling

plumpdumpling — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 02:05:17 +0000

The homeless must have insane immune systems, right? All that picking up my half-eaten, slobbered-on soggy street pretzels and re-using my used tissues and, like, licking the sidewalk and stuff. Seems like all that hepatitis is worth it to never get a cold.

But what about the pay toilets they supposedly installed in Madison Square Park? We should do a joint entry on those things.

By: plumpdumpling

plumpdumpling — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 01:59:12 +0000

People with no shame, that’s who. GO DIG THROUGH A DUMPSTER, GO SELL YOUR UNDERWEAR FOR CRACK, AND GET OUTTA MY FACE. Sorry, sorry, I didn’t mean that.