Monthly Archives: August 2008

Take My Ovaries, Jesus

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Last night, I cried when my portion of our karaoke bill came to $48.

This morning, I cried while watching an insurance commercial:

I’m about to leave to get my hair trimmed, and I really hope to cry during that, too.

With any luck, I’ll make a sobby scene during dinner tonight and get us kicked out of the restaurant.

Gooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, HORMONES!

My Boyfriend is More Than Well Above Average

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Today, Gmail chat, 3:15 p.m.:

In case you need a reminder:

Now, I should mention that Kamran has been working out every single morning for months and that this picture was taken well before he got ripped, but you get the idea.

Lost and Lonely Leftovers

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Kamran: What makes you so interested in abandoned food?
me: I don’t know. I really like food, and I always wonder why someone would just leave it there. I would pick that shit up and dust that shit off.
Kamran: I would do that, too.
me: Really?
Kamran: Yeah, I mean pick it up. And then throw it away.
me: Oh, no, I’d totally be willing to eat it.
Kamran: What about a pepper dropped in the subway?
me: Sure.
Kamran: You’d just pick that up and bite into it?
me: Yeah, absolutely, ’cause you can wash that.
Kamran: You can’t wash off the subway. You can’t wash off New York City. New York City gets under the skin.

This was the very first, some lonesome transportation vegetation spotted on the F train.

Spotted outside Halloween Adventure along Broadway, this one is especially sad for me,
because dropping something after one delicious bite seems so much worse than after not tasting it at all.

My boyfriend and I saw this right outside his apartment building, but everyone there is rich,
so I suppose a lost bagel isn’t a big deal to them. There was a trash can approximately
6 inches from the bagel, it should be noted.

Please find my newly created page for showcasing my abandoned food finds in my sidebar and expect many more to come.

No, Wait, I’ve Actually Seen Way More Famous People

Filed under bigtime celebrity, living in new york is neat, narcissism, there's a difference between films and movies
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I could tell yesterday that you weren’t totally blown away by the celebrities I’ve rubbed elbows with, and early this morning, I realized why. I forgot to add the most important ones, the ones I was actually filmed with. And in Meryl’s case, the one that I actually ran into accidentally. So here are the additions to my List of All the Famous People I Can Remember Having Seen Whilst Living in NYC for you to ooh and ahh at:

Meryl Streep, who I filmed scenes with as an extra in the movie Julie and Julia.

Brooke Shields, who I stood 2 centimeters away from while filming scenes as an extra in “Lipstick Jungle“, where I also stood 2 centimeters away from

Andrew McCarthy

and Rosie Perez

and Kim Raver

and Lindsay Price.

Please note that I reserve the right to keeping posting this sort of jazz whenever I remember another one, because nothing else in my life has any meaning.

Guess Who Took a Picture of Don Cheadle’s Sexy Thighs

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My friend Sonya, my doctor boyfriend, Kamran, and I took a bus from Kamran’s office in Rockefeller Center to Union Square last Thursday night and then cut down a side street to get to the East Village for dinner. As we were passing by the movie theatre on Broadway, we saw some fancy black cars across the street and flashbulbs going off as someone stepped out of one of them. We continued walking like New Yorkers do but kept our eyes trained on the area in case something was going on that we’d need to brag about to our friends later.

When the person being photographed turned to face us, Sonya said, “Hey, it’s the guy with the big mouth who used to have dreads!” I, of course, had no idea who it was, but Kamran is pretty much an original gangsta and recognized him right away as Busta Rhymes. We crossed the street to get a better look, because while we don’t have any interest in movie stars, we understand that it’s important for our families in Orlando (Sonya), Orange County (Kamran), and OHIO (me) to hear about these sorts of sightings, since they can’t imagine any other advantage to living here.

Out of the next car came Guy Pearce, whose name we couldn’t remember but whom we all knew as “that guy from Memento“. And out of the next car came, most importantly, Don Cheadle, who I totally had a crush on after Crash and totally had a bigger crush on after Hotel Rwanda. So naturally I took out my camera and captured:

Blurry Don Cheadle, who very well might be looking right at me here but we’ll never know for sure so I’ll say he definitely is!

Don Cheadle’s leg beside some lady with a cast!

Don Cheadle in profile!

There were boards with Traitor posters all over them propped behind where the stars were having their photos taken, so they must have been there to premiere the movie, but of course I can’t look it up and have Google start showing “celeb” gossip in my gmail ads. So you should do it for me.

And while I have you here, here’s a List of All the Famous People I Can Remember Having Seen Whilst Living in NYC, complete with highly personal stories, which can now also be found in my sidebar, in case you want to reference it many times in the future.