And for the record, it was only one rich old man, and last I heard he was toting around some Asian chick. So it looks like I passed up my opportunity to eat fancy foods with an old rich man.

You need to let one of those rich old men who hit on you take you OUT, baby.

But I think you’re right in hating me. Luckily, you’re a gourmet chef and can recreate these in your own home.

I was totally inexperienced and uninterested in food until I met Kamran. He used to read cookbooks as a kid and has been watching the Food Network since its first day (nerd); couple that with the fact that he’s a know-it-all smartypants, and he’s always teaching me things. Now I’m interested in trying everything (except grubs), and it’s neat when you’ve tasted so many things that you can recognise the difference between good and mediocre. Save up $100, and we’ll go try a fancy tasting menu when you’re here! I’m pumped to get you fat!

Your crackers sound awesome, by the way.

For-EV-er.

Whenever I read your restaurant reviews, I’m reminded of how inexperienced I am food-wise. I used to think I had exotic tastes–with my sundried tomato and cottage cheese crackers–but then you go and mention shit like gazpacho and mole de xico, and I feel like a n00b.