Tabletop Shrumps
Boyfriend Kamran and I eat a lot of our meals at the Comfort Diner (be forewarned that the website looks to be circa 1997 and was possibly designed by your semi-retarded little sister) near his apartment, because they have down home foods like sweet potato fries and buffalo chicken sandwiches and homemade coconut cakes (not that we ever order cake when there’s a Tasti D-Lite a block away, ’cause we’re not embarrassed to love it).
Anyway, on their green tiled tabletops, they have this weird little mosaic shape that doesn’t really look like anything. Light brown, outlined in gold, and vaguely abstract. In the course of the year and a half we’ve been eating there, we’ve taken to calling it a skewered shrimp. Or “shrump”, which we think is the most hilarious pronunciation ever.
What do you think?
It’s clearly a penis.
Belonging to a vaguely abstract American Indian.
Dear God, that website.
What was Kamran writing about?
I’m sorry if the comment about the site’s design hit a little too close to home, what with your many slightly retarded sisters and all.
Kamran was naturally leaving his usual 9% tip there. And covering it, because he knows his poor tipping embarrasses me. (Kidding, Kam!)
Dear God. That website.
What was Kamran writing about?
Winnin’ the Kiwi readership over since 2008.
You’re lucky I didn’t make you record the phrase for me to loop over and over again any time anyone loads this page.