Google is Keeping Tabs on My Weight

Filed under it's fun to be fat, my uber-confrontational personality

In an attempt to make millions off my website on the suggestion of my very supportive, non-blog-hatin’ friend Elise, I added a couple of Google AdSense ads tonight. I was feeling not-so-sellouty about the Japanese restaurant links that kept popping up on my sidebar, because I am, after all, trying to mold myself into the most-Asian white girl you know. But after editing an old post and reloading the page, I saw that one of the ads had become a photo of an attractive fat girl. I quickly scrolled down to my footer, and the big banner across the bottom had switched over to a spread for a BBW dating site. I’m convinced that Google saw a couple of pictures of me here and is trying to tell me something.


Comment Here


  1. cinnamic says:

    I clicked on one of the ads, so you’re a few pennies closer to those millions.

    • plumpdumpling says:

      A few pennies? Try SEVENTY of them. You must have clicked on a bigimportant ad.

      Thank you, ma’am.

  2. some_noah says:

    So, by having AdBlock Plus installed on Firefox, I’m actually stealing food from out of your hands?

    Isn’t that the point of the ads? I think I’ve just blown my own mind.

    • plumpdumpling says:

      It’s less like stealing food from out of my hands and more like keeping me from getting any fatter by never giving me the food in the first place. So if this were actually food instead of money, I’d have to thank you. But since it’s not, UNBLOCK ME!

  3. Tracey says:

    So are you going to start censoring yourself out of fear of what types of ads will accompany your posts?

    Advertising is creepy, right? Ever since I updated my Facebook status to say I’m engaged, EVERY AD on the page has been for wedding dresses and flowers and honeymoon vacation packages. It makes me feel sooo dirty.

    • plumpdumpling says:

      I was actually thinking of trying to work this to my advantage. You know, talk about things that will generate ads that people will want to click on. Like, say, an article entitled “make a billion off your boring-ass LiveJournal”. It would naturally be blank to leave plenty of room for more ads.

      Weirdly, all of MY Facebook ads are for wedding rings. Big, expensive ones. Facebook evidently knows me as well as Google does.

      • Tracey says:

        Hmm, then maybe I shouldn’t be so narcissistic as to think that Facebook is designing ads just for me?

        Although, I would love to know if men on Facebook are getting manly thinkgs like steaks and cars and power tools advertised to them.

        • plumpdumpling says:

          No, you’re totally special. Facebook is just throwing it in my face that even if I ever do manage to get engaged, I won’t make it to the dress/flower/honeymoon planning stage before he breaks up with me.

  4. Emily says:

    Whatever, Google. Bite my bit fat ass. I love eating and I love yoga, so you can take your dieting ads and cram them up your skinny nerd-ass.

    Oh, but hey, Katie, if you *really* want to be the most Asian white girl ever *and* make a million dollars in ads, you should somehow set up your website to be like stores in Japan. They have ads that get sent to your phone when you walk in front of the store. So if you walk in front of a Gap in Japan, you’ll get a text message saying, “Come into the store now and save 20% on any purchase over ten bajillion yen!” Or, you know, something along those lines. If you can somehow rig your website to send ad SMS to people cell phones, you will be the richest little white-Asian girl ever. EVER.

    • plumpdumpling says:

      Oh, interesting!; Kamran told me that there were patents for that sort of thing, but I didn’t know they were actually being used. I’m going to make it so that every time someone types “www.” into their browser, the little paperclip helper from Word pops up and threatens the lives of their children if they don’t input my address. With, like a super-mean look on his usually-friendly face.

      Or, you know, I can just start gathering phone numbers and texting people about my site manually in the middle of the night. EVERY NIGHT.

  5. Anonymous says:

    The banner ad on the bottom of your page was just for a gay interracial dating service. Google knows you SO well.

    • plumpdumpling says:

      My friend Jack told me yesterday that he saw one for interracial dating that he was pretty pumped about, but he didn’t tell me that it was for THE GAYS.

      I’m very excited to out him in front of all of his friends and family now, thanks to you.