Monthly Archives: January 2008

You can sleep on this.

Filed under narcissism

So, remember how I wanted this cape so badly? Well, in the end, I couldn’t bring myself to sell my liver or loan out my womb for that $1,615, but I did get this for $9:

You wouldn’t believe the looks I get now. I can’t decide if it’s because I rock the thing so hard or if it’s because I resemble a dog bed circa 1969, but either way, I’m pleased.

Totally Non-Obvious

Filed under creepy boyfriend obsession, jobby jobby job job, narcissism

One of my main functions in our office is to generate license keys for the software we make. This requires absolutely no technical knowledge nor any sort of awareness of the product, which is why they let a girl do it. My co-worker Jack IMed me today and reminded me why I’m so pleased to have surrounded myself with geeks:

Co-Worker Jack: Jian just called you “our license key generator” to a client.
Me: Sexy!
Co-Worker Jack: Haha. I thought you’d like that.
Me: I enjoy that I sound like a robot.
Co-Worker Jack: Yeah, you are KATIE–Key Autonomous Turbine Initiative Engine.
Me: Wow! I’m going to start signing my e-mails that way.
Co-Worker Jack: That would be awesome, especially since it took me a while to figure out what to use for the i in your name.
Me: I appreciate the effort. I’ll make all of my e-mails look like automated replies.

Excited about my new title, I IMed my patent lawyer boyfriend to brag:

Kamran: Sounds like the title of a patent.
me: Indeed.
Kamran: We should patent you!
me: I’m useful.
Kamran: And inventive. Totally non-obvious.
me: You’re so sweet.

It’s okay if this is only clever to me.